Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Lots of people talk to animals…. Not very many listen, though…
September 2, 2009

I have reoccurring dreams about bizarre hybrid animals.  I have for a long time.  When I was pregnant with my first child I dreamed I conceived her outdoors and owl sperm somehow got inside me and fertilized the egg at the same time as my husbands’ so when I birthed her she was half-owl.  I loved her anyway but was very disappointed I couldn’t breastfeed because she had a beak.

Lately there has been an animal in three of my recent dreams.  It looks like a manatee only it’s hairy and not in the water, and it runs with the grace and speed of a deer, only it’s the size of a large hippo.  It was in a dream last night, running through my yard and I was like “What is that?”  My mother was there and said it was a cow, but I looked at it in the face, closely, and said, “I’ve never seen a cow like that before.”

Here is a rather long dream I had before I went on my recent cross-country trip:

I’m at my friend Linda’s and for some reason I feel very grateful she is letting me and my kids stay with her.  She has stocked the fridge for us, filled with fruit salad, yellow meat water melon, and sweet potatoes.  I’m feeling very grateful as I go to fix the kids a drink.  They want more green tea and I’m looking for the bottle and when I spot it across the room it looks full, but when I approach it’s near empty.  There is a HUGE bottle of gatorade-type drink beside it so I scoop that up too.  I’m worried about all the sugar in it but when I look at the side I see it’s sugar-free.  I pour their drinks.

Linda and I have to go somewhere and the kids are fine with that.  Someone I trust is keeping them but upon wakening I don’t know who.  I feel good about going.  We get on the road and we’re on a country road and I’m glad for her friendship.  Suddenly we’re at the corner of AAA Produce by the Mug and Cone in Louisville, facing toward GP.  We’re at the intersection and the road ahead is dirt.  There are men working on trucks and it looks scary.  All of a sudden we’re on foot.  We see something up ahead, very close.  I’m like “What the fuck is that, a llama?” but as it turns I see it is a camel, one with a very long neck and as it turns and I see its profile with the setting sun behind it, it lets out this camel noise, a high pitched horn-like sound and I am struck with terror.  I tell Linda they are setting up some type of simulated Middle-East base, and I’m not sure what exactly it is but it’s military stuff.  This is the second time I’ve dreamed this about this area of town.

We turn right to get away from it and when we get on that road we see to the left of us another animal.  It’s a horse, a brown horse, but the body is the size of a Shetland pony and the neck and head are enormous.  It is so scary.  Trotting past it is a horse that is so deformed it looks like – I dunno, but it is changing colors like in the Wizard of Oz but I think, “This is not pretty in real life, it’s scary.”  Then a voice says – and I’m not longer sure if I said this, or if it was a voice in my head, but someone said, “This world is about to become a very scary place.”

Someone then walks by us with a black bear, smallish, on a leash, only his back end moves like a lizard.  We’re so scared so we decide to get off that street immediately and we run to the right, into a yard with a big pretty apartment complex, like a huge old mansion turned into apartments.  Automatically we see these two ENORMOUS dogs that get up to come toward us.  They’re white with brown spots.  We see there’s a third dog that is normal sized but I realize it’s because that’s their baby.  We are very frightened of the dogs.  They aren’t snarling or acting menacing, but they are huge – at least as big as horses.  We want to get away from them and quick!  We start toward the house – careful not to run – and there is a middle aged black man trying to get in.  He knocks for someone and then leans his back on the door, watching the dogs with terror on his face.  I somehow know he lives there and think, “This is not a good sign that he, who lives here, is scared too.”

As we approach the door opens and we all go in.  There’s an older white man inside, ushering the three of us inside.  I notice it’s dilapidated and old and there’s no furniture in any of the rooms.  “You should call the super,” I say, which is strange since “super” is not a word I would use in real life, and they look at me.  “There is no super,” one of them says.

I think about how much time has passed since we left and I just want to be at home with my kids.  I begin to wonder if I will ever see them again.


Hold the Pickles
September 1, 2009

My family (mom, dad, siblings – hubby was not there) and I were in a restaurant. We’re talking. I look at the menu, at several different types of chili you could order. Now, after being awake for 10 hours, I can’t recall if I ate some chili in the dream or if I just saw a picture of it in the menu. I can’t remember tastes or smells (although I’ve had dreams with both of those senses in them before).

Next, evidently two servers or busboys meet directly behind me. I hear them talking, but I never see them. One is apparently holding an empty pickle jar. The other comments, “Damn, you served a lot of pickles. There isn’t even hardly any juice in there!” (not verbatim) The other responds, “Yeah, I know, I just kind of drizzle the pickle juice onto the pickles…” or something, I can’t remember.

As I listened, I began to feel disgusted, because I LOATHE EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT PICKLES WITH THE FIRE OF A SUPERNOVA. And hearing about pickle juice just makes me feel even more sick.  It reminds me of, in high school, I had a teacher who would make “pickle-sicles” by freezing pickle juice into little paper cups, then selling it as part of a fundraiser for a club. OMG, I would rather lick my cat’s asshole…..

She’s got a baby inside…
August 30, 2009

I want to discuss a recurring dream that I’ve had every 2-3 months several times now.  I am giving birth. In the last dream I had, it was triplets. But I’ve also dreamed of twins and single babies. In the dream, the sensations – of feeling the baby inside my belly, of pushing the infant through my birth canal – are very vivid.  However, giving birth is never painful. I never remember much about actually MEETING the babies – what they look like or how I feel or what I say or anything. My main memories of the dreams are the childbirth process (unrealistic as it may be – I’ve heard it kinda hurts!) and discussing possible names with my husband. It’s kind of funny, in the dreams, the subject of the baby name comes up very suddenly, as though we had never thought about it until then!  Like we’re caught off guard trying to figure out what to name the kid. But the dreams are always very pleasant, I am very happy to become a mother in them, and I wake up and have that “mommy itch” for WEEKS after the dream.

Ah, the mommy itch, as I have dubbed it. I’ve had it before, but lately it has gotten to making more frequent and intense visits. I walk into my home after work and greet my 2 cats as “babies”. “Hi little babies!” “Oh I wuv my wittle babies!”.  I look at Facebook, read the statuses of mothers and expectant mothers with a crazy excitement. I look at photos of pregnant friends of mine. Try to imagine what it feels like to have life fluttering inside your tummy. I practically drool at baby photos. I gleefully watch videos of small kids doing cute things on the internet.

Oh, the horror! Only six months ago, I would rather die than have to deal with some screaming kid. Now all I see is the love between parents and children, and want to feel that kind of connection. I want to love something more than myself.