Archive for the ‘anger’ Category

The Way You Make Me Feel
October 4, 2009

I had a dream last night that was strange in the way that what I remember most about it is strong emotions.  It was like I was dreaming in photographs that evoked strong emotions.  And, in a way, memories (I think).  What I remember may actually be an amalgamation of all my dreams from the night.

I remember having a flash of getting things out of the car and no one helping me.  I felt white hot anger.  I also felt unappreciated.  I felt like yelling, punching, stomping my feet, doing ANYTHING to express my anger.  I am not really an angry person.  If I wanted someone to help me with the groceries, I would just ask.  I am not really a tantrum thrower. I also remember someone close to me getting married.  I had what I refer to as wedding feeling.  That combination of happiness, anxiety, hopefulness.  A swelling of emotion.

Does anyone else ever wake up remembering the emotion much more than the events of the dream?  I sometimes wake up feeling emotional and not really being able to put my finger on exactly why and how I feel that way.  I have also been mad at individuals for things that happen in my dream.  I realize it’s ridiculous but can’t always prevent it.

Partying hard? Hardly partying…
August 15, 2009

I had a party that just kept getting bigger and bigger, like the party I had on July 18, 1995.  I remember that date because that remains the largest party I have ever BEEN to, and it was at my house.  It was like every single person from my high school came and brought their brothers, sisters, and cousins.  It was an awful experience for me, first of all because I was dating a few different guys casually and they all showed up, and also because I spent the entire night trying to make sure people weren’t tearing my parents’ house apart.  I had to keep people from making long distance calls, from taking advantage of my friend who liked to get naked when he got drunk, from smoking in the house, and from fighting with each other.  There was one guy who kept kinda picking at my dog, and I told him if he fucked with my dog just one more time I was going to kick his ass.  I don’t say that kind of thing often so when I do, you should pay attention.  He did not, and I caught him giving my dog alcohol.  So that was the only time I have balled up my fist and punched someone in the face (and then kicked him out).

So this dream, it involved a similar party that was getting out of hand and I look in the back yard to discover that some jackasses back there are pouring solo cups of water on my dog, Annabelle.  One of them would pour water on her and when she ran away from him she would unknowingly run toward another asshole with a cup of water to pour on her.  I stormed out there screaming at them and they all ran into the woods behind my house.  I was so furious I wanted to KILL them, but instead I got a fire hose from the side of my house (wtf right) and thought, “I’ll show these assholes what it feels like to be scared and wet alright…”  That was it.