Cocaine and McNuggets

I had a bag of cocaine.  It looked like a gram, and I was like, “This shit is mine, it’s all miiiiiine…” I was going to totally bogart it.  I was stoked.  And I was on the carport at my parents’ house, by the swing and something happened and I dropped it.  I WAS SO FUCKING UPSET, I THOUGHT I’D DIE.  I panicked and stooped to the ground to see what I could scoop up.  And if you’ve ever seen a gram of cocaine, you know there aint no “scoopin” to it.  I thought to myself, “I’ll bend down and snort this shit off the ground,” and I’ll be damned if I didn’t bend down to do just that and discovered that it doesn’t work if you don’t have a straw.  Just then my aunt walks out of my house (apparently there’s a family gathering going on inside).  She starts talking to me and I, still crouched down, contort myself into this awkward position so as to hide the cocaine but not stand completely up, lest I lose more of it by not constantly watching it on the ground or something.

I remember thinking, “She may see it if I stay down here, maybe I should get up. … Nah, fuck that, if she sees it I’ll just tell her to mind her business, this is totally worth getting caught over.  She can’t arrest me.”  She doesn’t notice and walks away.  Just then I find a huge piece that – and I hate to use this term, ’cause it’s not crack, but for lack of a better term – is all “rocked up”.  It’s not chopped up, it’s not powdery.  JACKPOT!  I put it in my little baggy.

I’m sure a ton happens between that and what I’m about to tell you, but next scenario I remember is that my very, very old friend we’re going to call Nugget (his last name started with a “Mc” so people did sometimes call him this) was there.  He knew about the coke and I told him it was alllll miiiiiine and he acted offended.  But I didn’t have a lot!  I pulled out my little baggie and WHOA!  I don’t even understand this in the dream, but now it looks like I have about 3 grams!  So I tell him, “Oh you know I’ll give you a line,” and looking back on it, this makes me laugh because it’s hilarious that I had THREE GRAMS OF COKE and I’m offering my friend ONE LINE.  LMAO.

Next scenario.  We’re in the bed together.  My husband is sitting on the edge of the bed talking to me.  Underneath the covers Nugget is fondling me.  Not only am I worried about my husband noticing, but also I’m not into Nugget.  I don’t want to have sex with him.  But the more he touches me, the more I get turned on and think, “Wellll….”

(Note: I’m not a cocaine user, I think you can look at me and tell that, but I won’t deny I have used it in the past and quite enjoyed it.  But it’s been a really loooooong time and I don’t do it anymore.  So don’t think I’m a coke head or anything.)

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